It’s A$$hole Tuesday

As if Tuesday isn’t one of the more depressing days of the work week as it is, my coworkers informed me as soon as I started that it’s known in our office as “Asshole Tuesday.” Maybe the fact that the week isn’t even close to over amplifies our general frustration toward dealing with jerks, or maybe the assholes all just decide to come out on Tuesday, but it really never seems to fail.

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The only thing worse than Monday would be an Asshole Tuesday happening on a Monday.

Unfortunately, even though we like to pretend at work that the assholes only come out in droves on Tuesday, the sad truth is that people, in general, tend to suck every day of the week.

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Ok, so that sounds kind of bleak. We could just feel that way because we’re in Williston … which also sounds unnecessarily negative. Don’t get me wrong – Williston has its fair share of great people, but many Willistonites agree that some of the people who come to the area in search of work aren’t simply down on their luck and looking for an earnest way to start over and make a living. Instead, this group of people are the type that blame everyone and everything but themselves for the trouble they’re in. Naturally, working in a law office, we get the joy of encountering a lot of these kinds of people.

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But, hey, we could deal with them, if they were the only ones who sucked. But they’re not. There’s a commercial that runs in western North Dakota, that starts out by saying, “There are 50 states in the nation, and every one of them wants to be North Dakota.” Until I lived in Williston again, I didn’t realize how true that statement was.

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For how mountainous this graph looks, the peaks only count for jobs. North Dakota is still flat as a pancake.

I would have never imagined that my boring little hometown would be a place anyone would want to live, let alone be jealous of. We are extremely fortunate to be experiencing economic happy times with the oil boom in our area. The sad thing is that money breeds conflict.

Random people living all across the country who never even knew North Dakota exists find out some long, lost relative of theirs that they never met owned mineral interest on land that’s got a producing oil well on it, and they’re instantly wanting and expecting more. They’re upset with me because I can’t get their paperwork done fast enough; they’re even fighting against their own family members to scrap for more.

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Come on, people! To come upon money just because you’re related to someone is an amazing stroke of luck – Isn’t that enough reason to just be happy? If you’re not okay with that, I’ll certainly take your pile of money …

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There’s my vent for Asshole Tuesday. All you assholes out there can crawl back in your holes now.

P.S. Just a heads up, I finally made a Facebook page for the blog. The link’s over on the right margin of this page, near the top, if you feel so inclined to click away. I’ll put some awesome little tidbits up, and links to every post, of course.

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P.S. Here’s an adorable picture of my cat, Sperry, being an asshole and hogging the remote. For the record, I did not stage this. She’s actually this much of a freak.

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Sorry I’m Such a Tease…

Ok, so I had good intentions in, say, March, when I wrote all about how I was coming back to my blog.  Hopefully, I’ll stick to it this time. After all, I have no social life anymore, (Did I ever?) so I really shouldn’t have much of an excuse. Regardless, over a year of crazy happenings in the life of Kaitlin have left me with plenty to write about.

Forever Alone Meme

Or a few months…

I’m in a completely different place than I was at the time I wrote my last regular post. Literally. To begin with, I’m across the state (still in North Dakota, unfortunately) sitting on a bed covered with teddy bears and unicorns in my room….in my parents’ home. In Williston, ND. (You know, Wild Wild Williston? It’s even wilder. And Willistonier.)

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That’s my unicorn. I also have its baby now, too. Maybe I shouldn’t have admitted that…..

That may sound like I’ve become a total failure on the surface, but hopefully I’m not. At least, I try to tell myself that. You can’t really go anywhere but up when you come out of college bright-eyed and bushy-tailed with your shiny, new several-thousand-dollar piece of paper and find yourself working at the local Olive Garden. I will never be able to hear the words “Unlimited Soup and Salad” again without cringing. (Fun fact: I worked at the Olive Garden Marilyn Hagerty went to when her review of the restaurant went viral. In college, I also worked at the newspaper Marilyn writes for and had her as a guest speaker in a ton of my classes. But the whole story about all that and my time at the ol’ OG is for another post. Or seven.)

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That’s me. Looking fresh as ever.

Anyway, I’m banking in on the cash cow that is Williston, ND, while I can. Yes, Wal-Mart’s starting wage really is $17.00 an hour. McDonald’s will get you $15 an hour starting. So, this is a great place to work at a law firm, getting some experience while saving for law school. (Yep, I got in! And I’d be there right now if I hadn’t been offered a rather significant scholarship to defer my enrollment a year. You know, because too many people accepted their offer of admission and they need to make themselves look uber competitive for the US News & World Reports Rankings. It’s all a big conspiracy. But, I digress.)

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Woot!

Living at home and banking money also has its perks for saving for a house, the big move across the country in a few months, and the WEDDING which will follow shortly after! Yes, in a little over 8 months, my blog title will no longer be a catchy little spin on my last name, but it’s a small price to pay for the lifetime of awesome I’m getting. Especially since Chris and I have been, and will continue to be, living across the state from each other until we make the move. It sucks, but at least I can get away with not shaving my legs very often. (Gotta always look on the bright side.)

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I was distracted by something shiny and didn’t see the random bowl of popcorn on the floor…It was Chris’s house, don’t ask why it’s there.

So, now that I’ve unnecessarily updated you, dear reader whom I probably don’t know on a personal level, on the biggest intimate details of the last year, I think I can successfully move on and begin blogging like I used to. Maybe not every day, but at least regularly. My original plan, in March, was to just let all my big new changes come out as they needed to in the process of writing different posts, in an attempt to not give off so much of my personal life. But I think that idea was a little too daunting. I guess it seems like I need to let people know where I am in life to make my posts relevant. Even though anyone who might still be interested in my blog probably stopped reading about my ridiculous personal blatherings after the first paragraph.

Anyway, yay for blogging again 🙂 I hope to see you around.

(P.S. I also got an adorable kitten. I’m obsessed with her. And she’s the one who loves the unicorns on my bed, I swear.)

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Yes, she is laying on a placemat. I may have been a crazy cat lady when I lived alone…

Some things are better left unexplained.

Well, hello blog. It’s been a few days. Here are some tidbits that are just vague enough to either be confusing and unrelatable, or universally understood. You decide. Sometimes my inner beeyotch just has to come out, but never to who needs to hear it. I just smile and bend over backward. Eventually, it has to come out, and usually in this form … only, usually, not publically.

  • Passive-aggressiveness should not be allowed in the workplace.

  • Putting in one’s two weeks notice means, “I will no longer be employed at your establishment after two weeks.” Not, “Sure, I’ll pick up extra hours because you’ve continued to put me on the schedule two weeks after my two weeks notice.”
  • What is this “fluff” criticism crap? I like fluff. It’s a welcome distraction from how much people can suck. Fluff is not here to harm, it’s here to make people happy. Maybe everyone could use some more fluff.
  • Some people just never get the hint.

  • I’m sacrificing what small semblance of a life I’m currently grasping on to, is there anything else I can do for you? (The answer is always yes. I’ve learned the hard way to stop phrasing this in the form of a question … which goes into effect after this morning, when I did phrase it in the form of a question.)

  • Hot coffee, when given the chance, will always spill. Same with most other liquids. This also applies metaphorically.
  • On a related note, don’t leave that hot coffee alone too long. It gets cold really fast. That can be metaphorical, too, if you want it to.

  • Jack Johnson was mostly right. “Maybe” always means “no.” Same with a lack of response. It sucks to be on the receiving end, but, as mentioned earlier, other people need to also learn to take the hint.
  • People will generally make stupid, unwarranted, uninformed comments on most things you post online. YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.
  • There’s never such a thing as too much time. Or too much money. And, unfortunately, the two are not friends.

  • I wish I had nothing better to do than sit around in coffee shops being pretentious.
  • There’s only so much one can do before they reach the point of *metaphorical brain explosion*. This is characterized by silence, glazed over eyes, and extreme lack of motivation. This person requires a recovery period, or more caffeine.

I only wish a kitty was the source of my brain explosions.

  • A teeny bit of consideration can go a long way.
  • Those people who never get the hint? They’ll really rub it in your face that they don’t get the hint. It’s karma’s way of punishing you for not just spouting off to them. I’m currently suffering a terrible punishment.

  • Haters gon’ hate. Control freaks gon’ control. And the rest of us just have to deal with them apparently. I deal by writing long, bitchy e-mails to said Control Freak and then never sending them. Passive aggressive? Kinda. Therapeutic? Absolutely.
  • Just because someone isn’t working for you at the moment doesn’t mean they’re just sitting on their ass in a beanbag in front of the TV eating bon bons and getting fatter. Don’t assume they’re not working somewhere else.

  • Instructors of online classes should still make an effort to be a fricking teacher. You know, answering voicemails, e-mails, grading assignments before the last week of class …
  • It’s dangerous to bank on it not raining.

  • Don’t pass up an awesome deal because you assume it’ll still be there when you have more wiggle room in your wallet to buy it. When the time comes, the price goes.
  • Can I take back all the hours I never took naps as a child and use them now?
  • Weekends are never long enough.
  • Anxiety is more often used for evil than good.

  • There’s a fine line between pointing out errors in work to be helpful and being completely obnoxious.
  • Wow … and your computer will always short-circuit, displaying a huge error message that basically says, “You’re screwed” every time you’re in the middle of something important. Every. Time.

If I had a little more energy, I could have probably cleverly weaved these bullet points into a crafty little post. But I don’t, so this is what you get.